The best thing about a law degree
Jun. 13th, 2007 05:59 pmIs that during an alleged (alleged, mind you) apocalypse, when you're watching some little old lady try to make her way toward you using her walker, just down from the Irving B. Matross Covenant House, you know, off the B Line, across from the Whole Foods?
The best thing about a law degree is that you actually catch yourself asking, hey, is this assault? Is this shambling monstrosity creating a reasonable apprehension of an offensive touching? Can I use deadly force in self-defense? Is she using or threatening (potentially) deadly force against me? What if that's "braaaaains" she's muttering in Russian? Even though I don't speak Russian, it's a reasonable inference that she wants to eat my brains, isn't it? I mean, we've all seen the movies.
It's not really deadly force if they're already dead, anyway. So, I think I've got a pretty good argument.
I'll be safe up here. All those osteoporized bones will never survive up three flights of stairs, and the elevator's always been possessed. It ain't goin' nowhere.
Guess I'm not, either. I'll just stay in and study.
The best thing about a law degree is that you actually catch yourself asking, hey, is this assault? Is this shambling monstrosity creating a reasonable apprehension of an offensive touching? Can I use deadly force in self-defense? Is she using or threatening (potentially) deadly force against me? What if that's "braaaaains" she's muttering in Russian? Even though I don't speak Russian, it's a reasonable inference that she wants to eat my brains, isn't it? I mean, we've all seen the movies.
It's not really deadly force if they're already dead, anyway. So, I think I've got a pretty good argument.
I'll be safe up here. All those osteoporized bones will never survive up three flights of stairs, and the elevator's always been possessed. It ain't goin' nowhere.
Guess I'm not, either. I'll just stay in and study.