Various and Sundry

Well, as my most recent post indicated, I've been slowly shifting my reward system from booze and food rewards to makeup and mandolin music.

And books, of course, although there's no 'of course' to it at all. I stopped buying books in law school because I couldn't afford them. And then it was kind of like being used to not listening to any of my rock and roll CDs (can't study and rock out at the same time): I got used to it. To not having new books. To not listening to music at all. (I can't remember when I bought a new CD.)

Strange. And it needs to be undone. I will now buy books as the whim moves me, within the constraints of my pocketbook, which is somewhat less constrained these days.

Recently read (see also, sidravitale on Goodreads):

Tobias Buckell, _Arctic Rising_. Liked it.
Paolo Bucigalupi, _The Windup Girl_. Loved it.
Ray Bradbury, _Dandelion Wine_. Loved it.
Ray Bradbury, _The Illustrated Man_. Loved it.
Susanna Clarke, _Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell_. Loved it.

Currently reading: _The First World War_, by Martin Gilbert.

Purchased but not read yet: _The Weird_ anthology.

Also arrived today: _Mandolin Music for Medieval Faires_, b/c I'm thinking if I'm going to get back into the SCA after all these years, and not knowing anyone here (Barony of Carolingia, Kingdom of the East), it might be good to have a persona that lets me just sit and people-watch while looking like I'm doing something (that is, playing music). Of course, fiber art (knitting, crochet, spinning) is good for that, too. I joined an SCA Meetup to get announcements re: events, and joined a couple SCA fiber artist groups on Ravelry. Hopefully I can get to a dance practice soon and start to ease my way back into things.

And now the last, possibly the weirdest for those who have known me for a long time: my performance of femininity has ramped way up in becoming a lawyer. Given the patriarchal conservatism of the profession, this should not be surprising. I wear a skirt every day. I have tailored suits. This is one of those things where I don't feel comfortable anymore going out for any extended length of time unless I look like a law professor on her day off - because to my students, that's what I am.

And, because I like the colors, I am starting to experiment with nail art and am now a Julep Maven (nail polish, minus the carcinogens, http://www.julep.com) subscriber, and exploring new beauty products. Because I'm paying so much attention to my looks, and, I think, in part, because I'm now in my 40s and I fucking feel like it: I guess I'm becoming a bit of a glamour-puss. Or at least a glamour-puss by my standards, which probably means basic beauty conformity to everyone else. I'm a little embarrassed, really, because I am acutely aware (see http://sidravitale.blogspot.com/2012/06/beauty-post-surprisingly-and-feminism.html) of the essential hypocrisy of my position, stuck in a 'man's world' that I want to succeed in to live, but that I also, as a feminist, want to destroy. And, because I'm just as indoctrinated as everyone else: I want that world's approval, too. And I'm getting it by conforming.

So, while I don't plan on "beauty blogging", I do plan on discussing some of my gender performance, and hopefully the part I enjoy. I like playing with color. I like the way I look with mascara on because it makes my eyes look bigger. Etc., etc., etc. The feminist commentary on the requirements that I perform femininity in this society in the first place may wind up here on DW, or over on my blog, sidravitale.blogspot.com. The hypocrisy will be televised, so to speak, on one channel or another.

And I just stopped and put some music on. So there.