Sigh

Sep. 19th, 2015 09:46 am
sidravitale: BBC's Coupling icon by aryas_icons (BBC Coupling)
[personal profile] sidravitale
There's this annual gathering in honor of a dead friend of mine, someone from the law school, and I want to be there, I want the feeling of community and friendship that these women seem to have when I'm there with them, I can see it in front of me, but it's like there's a missing piece inside me. The thing that would let me connect is a hole instead of a cog, so I don't actually fit, and I'm holding myself in position for a little while just by luck, but any second, any tiny twitch and I'll be brushed away, I won't pass as normal, or connected, or whatever, and these people will keep rolling forward in this framework they're living a communal life in and not even realize what happened. So, even when I'm there, I feel so alone.

September 2015

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